You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
