are you so shy because you have an std?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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