Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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