I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize