Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
