There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
My dick has a subreddit
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
