You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize