Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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