My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
