You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
