My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
