I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
