can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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