Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
