3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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