Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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