I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
