Pants 0. Shit 1.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
P.S. I can't hear my feet
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I have already put on my inside pants.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
