And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
