If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize