i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
