I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
