he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
