My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
