At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
