i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
