But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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