I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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