You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Bring me that man meat
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
