Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
