I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
