It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
