dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
