dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
