Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize