he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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