It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
