There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
