Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
