You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize