I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
