And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
