shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
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