Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize