I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I still have a little drunk in my system
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
