Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Everything about him screamed your future.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
