is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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