Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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