the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
