i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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