Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
