is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
