Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
