Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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