when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
