Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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