my phone cant type all the emotion im having
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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