I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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