It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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