.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
