Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
