the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
