.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
