...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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